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Post by SilverSugar on Jan 29, 2008 22:27:43 GMT -5
This is not a practice for character sheets, so I'm keeping it simple and describing my character in the RP post. This practice is for paragraph structure, dialog, setting, and working with another persons postings. After we work on this we can move onto adding details to characters and other areas.
Character: Ues, Age: 15, Gender: Female
Ues stood calmly at the water's edge, her boyish face void of emotion. She was waiting in silence, waiting for one she was destined for... The wind whipped across the seas tossing a salty spray into the cool air. 'The letter said two o'clock...' she glanced at her digital watch which glowed a dull green enabling Ues to clearly see the time was two ten in the morning.
The familiar sound of foot on sand met the girl's ears. She turned, the frail moonlight failed to illuminate the person before her. However, Ues could tell it was the person she was waiting for by their aura. It was the same aura that had been left on the spell paper that had met her hours earlier... "You are...the one, yes?" she asked, her voice sounded flat - indistinguishable between male and female.
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Seiji
Member
"Aren't we just a few lillies short of a shoujo-ai?"
Posts: 44
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Post by Seiji on Jan 30, 2008 17:44:49 GMT -5
A blonde-haired boy approached the beach. His face veiled in shadow beneath the dim light of the moon. A light breeze blew as he scanned the beach... looking for something.
His eyes stopped... he had found what he was looking for. Slowly, he approached; taking his time, never taking his eyes from that spot. Despite the lack of light... a silhouette could be made out against the backdrop of the moonlit sky; this had been what he came for.
He drew closer - a dull green light could be seen emanating from the silhouette. Mere feet away, the figure turned upon him. The moon, illuminating the night sky behind the boy, allowed the figure's face to be almost fully visible while his face remained veiled.
The figure spoke - "You are... the one, yes?"
He gently replied "Sorry... I'm probably a bit late..."
His voice was soft; it carried a gentle tone... yet no distinguishable sex could be discovered by this voice alone.
((Hau~... I attempted...))
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Post by SilverSugar on Jan 31, 2008 11:16:51 GMT -5
[You may wish to include a background about your character here, or give some sort of information telling where you are coming from.]A blonde-haired boy approached the beach. His face veiled in shadow beneath the dim light of the moon. A light breeze blew as he scanned the beach... looking for something.
His eyes stopped...he had found what he was looking for. Slowly, he approached; taking his time, never moving his eyes from that spot. Despite the lack of light... a silhouette could be made out against the backdrop of the moonlit sky. This had been what he came for. [You can't use ; twice in one paragraph it looks bad. Just something I learned from my English class. I also changed the second "taking" to "moving" in the second sentence.]
He drew closer and could see a dull green light emanating from the silhouette. Mere feet away, the figure turned upon him. The moon, illuminating the night sky behind the boy, allowed the figure's face to be almost fully visible while his face remained veiled. The figure spoke, "You are... the one, yes?"
He gently replied "Sorry... I'm probably a bit late..." His voice was soft; it carried a gentle tone...yet no distinguishable sex could be discovered by this voice alone.
Additional notes: Make sure to give your character a name and use it in your post, it makes it easier to write when you don't have to use 'he/him/the boy' over and over. Other than that, this is a vast improvement over your other posts. Of course, there's more we can go over and adding length and details will help that. Anyway the one thing I really liked about your post is that you really seemed to get how to use what was in my post to add to yours, especially the setting.
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"Sorry... I'm probably a bit late..." She couldn't yet tell the identity of the person to whom she was speaking to; the elements seemed against her.
She glanced at her watch once more, 2:11, before reaching into her pocket to pull out the slip of paper she'd received earlier the day before. Although she could not read it in the dim light of the moon, she remembered what it had told her.
The paper had appeared to have been a large crow... Nothing would have been too unusual about it had it not flown through her bedroom wall like yet another random spirit she'd been able to see recently. "Being that you are just able to see this means you have what it takes... Meet my master at the sea-side, two o'clock in the morning, you'll know where to be." After it spoke the bird vanished into the paper. It had strange markings on it, like the kind you'd see in anime shows about magic and stuff. It was too bizarre...
"I'd thought it was just some sick joke at first," she said handing the slip of paper back to it's owner, "but when that thing talked... I guess..." She shook her head slowly, she couldn't believe she was even here. This was crazy, absolutely crazy. What was she doing here really? She'd been a good and normal girl mere weeks ago, but then strange things had started happening, and now she was breaking curfew! If she'd just ignored that strange letter perhaps she could go back to being normal, go back to not seeing strange monsters and spirits everywhere she turned...maybe then the odd dreams and feelings would stop.
"I shouldn't be able to see or feel these things, and I know I'm wrong in asking if you are here to help get rid of it, but I can't help but hope you know..." she stared blankly at the figure in front off her, still quite unable to make anyone out. At least the person's aura was steady.
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